Showing posts with label internet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label internet. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 04, 2015

R.I.P., Scourge of the Net

Years ago, when the net was very young, before there was a world wide web, there was usenet.

Out at the far end of usenet, intended as a walled off ghetto, there was a rather bizarre hangout called, fittingly, talk.bizarre, or tDOTb. The people who set it up saw it as Obi Wan saw Mos Eisley- a wretched hive of scum and villainy. We simply saw it as home. We ranged from people who fit no mold, to people who broke molds (seldom on one another's heads), to people who smelled like mold, to people who ate mold.

It was fun. It was weird. It was brilliant. It was creative. It was stupid. It was a lifeline. And sometimes it was brutal.

Most of the brutality wasn't that brutal and was aimed at stupidity. But occasionally (as can happen anywhere) someone with serious problems showed up.

One college student (let's call him Kltpzyxm[1]) in particular stood out. Kltpzyxm came off as a troll, but over time he managed to make a lot of other trolls look good. He could be brilliant and witty, but he could also be nasty. He loved to play games; he would start acting nice to you, maybe even email you and draw you in, then stab you in the eye with an ant-covered stick.

And not just in talk.bizarre. He did this in respectable groups as well, where people innocently discussed things that mattered to them.

Kltpzyxm apparently went on to have a successful life in the real world. He married and had kids. He dropped off the radar.

He recently drowned off the coast of Hawaii.

From what I hear third hand, he was probably a good husband and dad. I hope so. I hope his family has good memories.

How do the people of tDOTb remember Kltpzyxm? (These are the short versions, not the actual quotes.)

  • "Kltpzyxm tried to get me banned from the systems I posted on [over something ridiculously innocuous -ed]"
  • "Kltpzyxm tried to get me fired."
  • "Kltpzyxm publicly attacked my family and me on my wedding day."
  • "Kltpzyxm made false accusations to my department head and nearly ruined my academic career."
(There was also the endless, day to day nastiness that grates on the nerves.)

Yes, those quotes are truly representative of how he acted. People reached out, tried to help him. He played nice til they believed he was changing. Then he whipped out the ant-covered skewer. As NJ summed it up on the Facebook tDOTb page:

"My recollection of him is as a progenitor of the Internet troll, and his legacy in that regard is well-represented on 4chan and in Gamergate. I assume, or perhaps merely hope, that his family and friends experienced some brighter side of him than he chose to present in his youth, and that their memories of him are fonder than ours."
Life isn't about leaving a legacy, but we all leave one. Hopefully there is far more to him than this, but this is the part of his legacy I know first hand (I remember when the incidents referenced above were happening).

I don't wish death on anyone, much less for a family to go through this.

I'm sad- for him and for his family. But to be honest... I don't miss him. I hope the guy I knew died a long time ago and a much nicer guy emerged as Kltpzyxm. I hope he left a much better legacy than the one the tDOTb community knows.

 

  1. Bonus points to anyone who gets the reference!

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Why Do You Write?

I initially misread one of the questions I answered for the last blog. I thought it asked, "Why do you write?" I've been asked this before, and have never been sure how to answer this until now.

I'll answer with my own question. Why do you breathe?

Why do I write? Because I have to. Because I don't know how not to. I mean, you [I] can stop breathing [writing] for a while, but eventually something you can't control kicks in and you do it again. If an external force is stopping you from breathing, you start fighting. Your very life demands it. My physical life doesn't demand that I write but there's a real, vital part of me that does.

I've read almost as far back as I can remember; I've written most of that time as well. I vividly recall the first time Mom taught me to form letters. I was already captivated by the alphabet, words, punctuation, sentences, paragraphs, stories, books, magazines, you name it... but the idea that I could write? That I could make those same things? How could it be true? Oh, the bliss!

I wrote my first letters and thank you cards before grade school. I wrote well over a thousand "lines" my first month of school. Some of these were for getting creative with writing lines. That was NOT ALLOWED. But it was in my bones.

I wrote the first poem I was seriously proud of in second grade. It was about pygmies. I still had it a few years ago, but I have no idea where it is now (sad face). It contained four quatrains, each about a different aspect of being a pygmy. One was about weaponry, another about wearing very little (with mud between their toes and leaves brushing their skin). I forget the rest...

I wrote research papers. I liked some of them, though I probably bogged down more on these than anything else.

I wrote page length and longer notes to friends at school. In fourth grade I wrote up the rules for U.N.C.L.E., the spy group for boys. It was then I wrote the first love notes I can remember. In fifth grade I had stacks of 3x5 index cards covered in notes about the people all around me, a result of reading Harriet the Spy (still a favorite). I wrote my own comics.

In sixth or seventh grade, Claude Thompson and I decided to write a book together. He wrote a clone of parts of his favorite James Bond book. I wrote a collection of pithy sayings and one liners, very little of which was original. That one thankfully died a quick death.

In ninth or tenth grade, Dan Croft and I started "legal proceedings" against each other, having decided to be lawyers. For a couple of months, every school day we presented each other with a lawsuit, response to allegations, cease and desist, or whatever other other legal document we had cooked up. We worked hard on legalese and studied all the law we could find. Some of these documents ran eight to ten pages. Our parents were a bit worried.

In either eleventh or twelfth grade a teaching assistant- Miss Ball- really encouraged my writing even though some of it perturbed her (and well it should have). In twelfth grade, Mrs. Marion Unger, English teacher extraordinaire, creative writing teacher flying under the school radar, a Jewish saint, a brilliant, fun, open minded teacher, pretty much blew the doors off whatever was holding me back. She encouraged me not only to write, but to dream, to think the way I wanted and needed to, to find my voice and style rather than parrot what others said. She knocked some serious barriers down for me and gave me permission to destroy the rest.

For at least two quarters in college I spent an hour or two every night writing on the 3rd Street tunnel walls under I-75/85. I found some awesome friends doing the same thing. One turned out to be my roommate (we were all quite secretive at first.) Professor Frisbee at Georgia Tech was also a huge encouragement. We lost a great English teacher when he left to attend seminary.

For years I wrote off and on. I snuck stories into comments and even code as a software developer. I wrote text-based games. I was writing at least an hour a day for years on the net long before most people heard of it, when it was pretty much all text based. I was working long hours and writing was my sanity. For a few months I wrote something every day focused on exploring everything I could do within a random rule of writing. I spent the next few months writing something every day that explored breaking a random rule of writing. This was one of the best things I could have done.

I touched on the rest in the previous blog. But suffice it to say, not writing feels like it sucks the life out of me. I still like to write long emails and messages. I still like to write letters. I wrote dozens of kids' stories for my kids, for Tiffany Hall when she was battling cancer, for my grandkids. I blog. I facebook. I take notes. I write postcards. I come up with stories about anything and everything at the drop of a hat, a pin, or a bomb.

Why do I write?

Why do you breathe?

Can't stop. Won't stop.

Pausing is OK. I'll pause here. But not for long.