Caterpillars From Hell

When I was a kid, we had two kinds of caterpillars:

1. really cute ones, some of which were fuzzy, that crawled on the ground or trees and you picked up and played with; you just knew they turned into the coolest butterflies, and
2. not so cute or pretty ones that apparently had mated with spiders and left evil webs everywhere. These clearly turned into vampire moths.

Now we have many more types:

3. fuzzy ones that burn you;
4. fuzzier ones that sting like a wasp and cause allergic reactions that can hospitalize you;
5. even fuzzier ones that will gouge your eyes out;
6. caterpillars so fuzzy and evil they cause zombies to run away screaming, ignoring brains as they flee.

Where did these all come from? Terrorists? The same people who brought you chem trails? Failed Monsanto GMOs? Alien invasion? Whatever the origins, where the heck are the Avengers?

Meanwhile, do not touch anything that even vaguely resembles a caterpillar. Annihilate it with as much force as you can muster. If you happen to take out a tree, a car, a home, or a neighborhood, well, superheroes have collateral damage, too. At least you helped save the planet... even if you destroyed it in the process.