World's Most Beautiful Iguana Gets Married!

Another Saturday, another wedding. I told people we were going to see the world's most beautiful iguana get married.

Let me be clear. Cristina Santiago (now Farnham) is not an iguana. She is a beautiful, brilliant, young lady, despite being an Aggie.

Her parents, Jose and Gladys, both hail from Puerto Rico. Years ago, our families were in the same home group, a sort of house church as part of a "normal" church. Another friend, whom we shall call Bill for purposes of this story, often asked Jose how to say words in Spanish. At one meeting we somehow ended up on the topic of iguanas.

"Jose, how do you say, 'iguana' in Spanish?"
All heads turned their way. Time stood still. Once it started moving again, Jose replied in perfect deadpan.
"Iguana."

Bill slowly turned red as we all lost it. Since that day, any time the three families get together, iguanas come up. Hence, my "beautiful iguana wedding" reference.

Unlike last Saturday's wedding (What if They Threw a Wedding and Nobody Came?) this one was thoroughly planned, not simply thrown. With both parents being top notch doctors, this is no surprise. Doctors tend to be methodical and prepared. (I did think having to provide vaccination records to get in the door was a little over the top.)

Today's wedding was traditional-- very traditional in many ways. But it caught me off guard because it was very personal. The traditions were celebrated in the beauty of their original intent rather than simply because "that's how my mother did it, and her mother did it, and her mother did it, and how the past 9,029 monthly editions of Modern Bride said to do it."

The pastor was formal in a casual, personal sort of way-- very Texan. He was also large and muscular with a shaved head, and would not have looked out of place as an enforcer in Ocean's Eleven, except that he had a smile as big and real as the Texas panhandle.

The charge, vows and ring exchange were eloquently succinct, yet still covered everything they traditionally cover.

When Thomas and Cristina took communion, it was very personal and holy, while the excellent string trio played something perfect, and played it perfectly (technical perfection and soul!). God was smack dab in the middle of everything, having a good time.

Approximately half the people present were in the wedding party. Almost all the groomsmen were Thomas's brothers; I didn't have time to count them but I suspect Rhode Island is smaller. He also had Alex Santiago with him, as well as someone nobody knew, but he brought his own tux so he was in. This of course meant that Cristina had most of her Texas A&M graduating class standing with her, plus two extra beauties, Amarillys Santiago and Ariella Hannon.

Afterward we had an excellent meal (featuring what I am almost certain was roast iguana) and dancing, including music from the country western tradition, the rap and hip hop traditions, and the Macarena tradition. The latter is so traditional that I was nervous at a recent wedding that didn't include the Macarena; I feared the Macarena Authority would round us up and haul us off to jail.

The speeches were wonderful. Jose summed up the only two qualities he really looked for in someone wanting to marry his daughter. "He must love God, and he must love Cristina. Other than that, I don't care what or who you are, you have my blessing."

Two of the non-traditional pieces were in lieu of a guest book. One was a hand-drawn tree on which we could put our fingerprints and names. Next to this were cards where we could write Bible verses we wanted to share with the bride and groom. I picked Matthew 22/36-40, the two greatest commandments: "Love God with everything in you and love each other as yourselves". I would like to note that I wrote mine before Jose said his piece, the copycat.

Last Saturday's and this one's weddings were perfect (identical at the core if very different in appearance) bookends for my week. I just wish I had felt like dancing more this week. Except the Macarena. I would still have sat that one out. If my wife can't find me in the morning, someone have her call the Macarena Authority to arrange bail..