Impersonalizing Suicide

A blogger I follow recently discussed visiting a psychiatrist and having to fill out a (poorly thought out and worded, at that) suicide questionnaire. You know, like when you visit a new doctor, and they want to know whether you have ever had polio or Chron's or amnesia, and when your last booster shot for political insanity was.

I'm not a professional counselor, psychiatrist, or even a professional psycho (I'm strictly amateur) but I have dealt with a number of suicidal and depressed people, and the mere fact that a doctor relegates the initial discussion of suicide to a written questionnaire is very disturbing. What's next, an online Survey Monkey survey on suicide so they can decide whether to grant you an appointment?

Maybe they should use an automated telephone survey.

"Press one if you have never contemplated suicide (in which case we know you're lying).

"Press two if you are just sort of contemplating suicide.

"Press three if you contemplate suicide a lot.

"Press four if you have a suicide plan.

"Press five if this plan involves shooting up a school or flying a plane into a government building; then hold while we dispatch a SWAT team.

"Press six if you have a gun in your mouth right now.

"If you have already committed suicide, please hang up and call nine one one. To hear these options again, press star."

I realize that depression and suicide are not joking matters. If you are feeling suicidal, contact me. If you're in the Austin area, we'll hug you and love you through it. If you aren't, we'll find someone where you are who will.

This method is not approved by any licensing body, as far as I know, but it has a high rate of success.

Sometimes we may need professional help... but I've seen love work miracles. Even if you need professional help, love and hugs are still good.

The Need To Do's

There are things I need to do that I'm not doing, or at least not doing as fast as I should.

But a lot of the things I "need to do"... I really don't. They are often simply the expectations of other people. I'm not accountable to your expectations, nor are you to mine (though I try not to have any).

Other "need to do's" are expectations I put on myself... for no good reason.

Realizing this is really freeing!

Want an example? Sure! For years I functioned as an assistant youth pastor at the church we attended. Eventually I became the youth pastor. And that was fine. But there came a time it no longer felt right. But...

Others had expectations. "You're good at this, and you're called to this. You can't walk away from it."

I had expectations. "It will look like I'm abandoning these teens. Nobody will trust a youth pastor without a church!"

But I knew I no longer belonged in that spot, so I resigned. I still work with teens and college age people. The groups is just more diverse and spread out geographically. I was always better at mentoring, and one on one stuff-- which is what I concentrate on now.

There are lots more, some big, some trivial. As Yoda said, "Size matters not!" If it's not truly something you need to do, let it go.

What are some of you "need to do's"? Are they really?

Thanks, Lana K. Moore, for the inspiration!

(Ironically, I started this just over a year ago, but it got lost on my "to do" list.)

Novel #1, First Draft Done!

First draft: DONE!
Chapters: 30
Words: ~75,000
Happy dance: DONE!

Sharon had a great idea. I printed out a copy for my Dad (and signed it with thanks for raising us with a love of reading, and for encouraging our imaginations). She'll give it to him this weekend. BUT DON'T TELL HIM! It's a surprise.

Caveat: That's real words, not words as publishing companies count (a multiple of page count). Using their method it's 90,000 to 100,000 words, depending on page size.

Depending on how you figure it, that's somewhere in the neighborhood of the first three Harry Potter books, and right in there with The Hunger Games.

I'm sure this will change a little before it's over; it needs at least two chapters inserted somewhere near the beginning to cover some things I glossed over. I need to add a few things here and there, but I also need to tighten the writing up. And... things may change as I revise it.

Still... 75,000 words in two months (including research and rough editing of each chapter), with a full time job and lots of real life still happening. I'm pretty stoked.

Thanks to all of you who've been encouraging me, with my awesome wife of course leading the race.

I'm thinking of letting a very small group of people read it at this stage. I'd want serious feedback (what you liked and didn't, in terms of characters, flow, style, dialogue, plot, culture, etc), what you didn't understand, how easy or difficult it was to read, and a few other things. They would all be spelled out, but I want to make it clear up front that to even be considered, I'd expect this. I would hope for at least a couple of pages of response.

Otherwise, you'll just have to wait til it's done. Sorry, but I don't want a substandard, unfinished product loose in the wild. I mean, look what happened with those velociraptors!

If you are interested, and have the time, and commit to the feedback, let me know.