Lessons from a Life on the Run

This was originally written for the May 2012 issue of The Town Messenger, a monthly paper for Hutto, TX. The paper shut down around this time; I don't recall whether it was published or not.

Sometimes a finishing pace is a punishing pace.

(A finishing pace is any pace that allows you to finish. A punishing pace is any pace that leaves you hurting-- regardless of whether you finish.)

When we are new at something we don't know what a finishing pace is. Most of us tend to go at new things one of two ways; hesitantly or full bore. Neither is necessarily wrong or bad, but you have to understand the ramifications, and look at who you are and how you're likely to react. I'm going to use running as an example, but the principles apply to most anything, from running to stamp collecting to pursuing a life of faith to relationships to parenting to your job to [whatever you are dealing with].

If you run too slow, you may simply run out of time. Because you aren't pushing yourself, you may get distracted. Such things keep you from finishing... this time.

If you run too fast, you may run out of energy. You may hurt yourself. Such things keep you from finishing... this time.

But neither these mean that you can't run. Neither them means you aren't a runner. They just mean you don't know what you're doing yet, or you aren't fully prepared. If we focus on the effects, we think we can't run, and we give up. If we focus on the causes (running too fast or slow), we can fix things!

I've just started running and working out after a few months of not being able to between my schedule, allergies, colds, sprains, etc. My times this week have been way off what they were a few months ago. I know what happens if I push too hard-- I hurt myself and then I can't run for a while. But rather than get discouraged, I just push harder until I know from experience I'm doing all I can do right now and still finish my distance for the day. So in this case, my finishing pace (a pace that allows me to finish) is also a punishing pace.

There was a time I would have looked at that and gotten discouraged. "I guess I just can't run. This time is terrible. I'm exhausted. I'm already sore, and I'll feel worse later. I give up."

But now I know better. Instead I say, "Hey! I know I can do better than this, but it's OK for now. I need to keep pushing myself, and that time *will* come back down. I'll eat Ibuprofen, maybe soak in a hot tub, use a muscle relaxer, and keep at it!"

Because I'll keep at it, I'll be sore for a while. But I'll also be in shape soon to finish a 5K. The extra weight I gained back will disappear again, and muscles will redevelop. Simply because I don't give up.

If I focus on being out of shape it can become part of my identity. "I'm Miles. I'm out of shape. I can't run." I come to believe I can't run, that there's no point in trying. And so I collapse into the black hole called Out of Shape. Some people never return.

But if I focus on getting in shape I have the option of saying, "Running is slow and painful, but it will get me back into shape; I'll be faster and feel great again!"

 

My best approach to running may not be yours, or even mine from yesterday.

When I first started trying to get in shape, I would jog 50 steps, then walk 50. By the end of the mile I was jogging 25 and walking 100. But I didn't give up. After 2-3 weeks I got to where I could jog the whole mile. My time wasn't much better than if I'd walked... but I'd jogged!

The first day that I tried to actually run rather than jog, I pushed too hard and had to walk twice for 15-20 seconds. I was really discouraged until I looked at my time. It was still better than my times when I jogged the whole way!

But as I ran more and got faster, I found that those breaks cost me more time than I gained by my incremental speed up in running. I was better at a consistent, finishing pace. Find what works for you right now, and do that for a while. Re-evaluate every so often, and change things up if you need to.

 

I learned the next one from riding bicycles and motorcycles, but it applies to running and life in general.

You tend to go where you look.

If you keep your eyes on the trail, you're likely to stay on the trail. It's a good idea to switch back and forth between right in front of you (to avoid obstacles, holes, etc.), your interim or ultimate goal (to keep you focused on the long haul), and side to side (to watch for vehicles, people, animals, or chainsaw wielding maniacs).

If you stare at something off to one side, there's a good chance you'll veer to that side. If you only stare right in front of you, you might miss something important such as an upcoming intersection. Some of your attention needs to be on the goal or you can get discouraged or pick the wrong pace.

You may need to pick interim goals. If you can't see the finish line, or if it seems a long way off, pick a closer goal. When I first started running after years of too much inactivity, I'd inevitably think I was too exhausted to continue well before getting to that day's finish line. So I'd pick a tree or mailbox along the route to run to. As I neared that goal, I'd pick my next goal. If I was doing OK the goals would be a ways off but if I was really tired and winded they might only be 5 to 10 seconds away. Regardless of the distance they kept me going until I ran across the finish line. Ran! I didn't walk or stagger across; I ran across. Sometimes I wanted to fall down and pass out, but I'd made it. And the next time it was a little easier.

 

Is there something you've wanted to do, but become convinced you can't? Think about it in terms of cause and effect. "I can't ___" isn't the cause, it's the effect. What is the cause? What can you do to change that? Do you really understand the cause? Most of the time we don't; we have believed something that wasn't true.

Until less than two years ago, I was convinced I couldn't play drums or percussion. I saw that as an effect. The cause? Un-coordination. But it turned out the real causes (at least for percussion; I haven't tried a drum set) were several: lack of courage to try, letting others discourage me, and lack of practice. When someone heard me tapping out rhythms on a steamer trunk during a worship party they handed me a drum. I had a blast and everyone there loved the result. I kept at it, and now have played in a variety of settings and groups, and am part of the worship team at my church.

For years I thought I couldn't write fiction longer than short stories. A couple of weeks ago I finished the first draft of a novel. I had confused cause and effect. I didn't think I was capable of writing a novel. The reality was simply that because I never had, I didn't think I could. (This is a really silly reason not to do something, but it's very common.)

What is it you want to do? Quit making excuses; quit confusing cause and effect. Just try it. What have you got to lose? More importantly, what have you got to gain? Go for it.

Buzzard, Moon, and Miles

A lone buzzard, charcoal and black with a variegated white stripe, soars majestically in lazy circles, quartering the azure sky. At one point he hangs between the budding Party Tree and a the half moon-- the only other object in a cloudless sky-- in perfect balance between the heavens and Earth.

It's a beautiful day. My heart overflows with wonder and joy. I am content, in a most intense way.

Weather or Not to Live in Texas

Wednesday by lunch it was still around 55F. So how do people dress around Austin?

• Transplanted northerners were running around in short sleeves (some in shorts), sweating and muttering about heat waves in winter.
• Transplanted Californians and Floridians were in coats and hats, shivering and attempting to talk through chattering teeth.
• The real Texans dressed exactly how they felt like dressing regardless of the weather (from shorts and halter ops to furry boots and parkas) and just went about their business, enjoying life.

I was in shorts, but I'm usually in shorts. I've given up trying to explain to people from elsewhere. I have a couple of pat answers that don't make their heads explode. Kinda sad I have to do that.

Texas is best suited to the strong, and those willing to become strong. Everyone else is going to be unhappy... or worse.

From my Point of View

This was actually written nearly a year ago, but fell through the cracks.)

Writing the first draft of my first novel has been a piece of cake so far. We'll see about the rest of the process. But... writing short stories came easy. Once I had the tools, polishing them came easy, too.

But in the process of writing a novel it has dawned on me how relentlessly singular the POV is in some of my favorite novels (and series). It's a bit easier with a first person story such as The Hunger Games (although that has its own set of challenges).

In a story told in the third person-- primarily from the POV of one person-- it's not uncommon to play narrator. That's fair game. But jumping to other peoples' POVs is less common... and trickier.

Lewis did this somewhat in the Narnia books, but as they were childrens' stories this is perfectly acceptable. In fact it's sometimes necessary. Tolkein did it, but he generally stayed within the POVs of his team, whether that was thirteen dwarves, a hobbit and a wizard, or the Nine Walkers in the LOTR. Rowling had it a bit easier; the magical world in which Harry found himself had various ways to vicariously see what others saw-- through Harry's eyes.

Fortunately I spent a lot of time working on playing within the rules years ago, then a lot of time experimenting, intentionally breaking each one to see what it was like (for instance, writing a story in the second person-- nobody does that).

The timing in which this struck me was odd. I hadn't read anything by anoyone else since I started the novel, but as I was editing (for typos and grammar only at this stage) it leapt off the page at me. For a day or so I was nervous, but then I recalled the time mentioned earlier, playing by the rules, then experimenting. I remembered how happy I was with some of the results.

And I remembered that there is no box.

Britain Ensconced

(This was actually written in October 2011 but somehow never published.)

A friend of ours, Traci Vanderbush, commented today about watching her son drive off to work and how weird it felt. Suddenly it seemed they'd gotten there all too quickly. Britain (her son) seems to be moving toward a career as a stage magician. Here's my attempt to ensconce the moment in haiku.

    The car disappears
Like a teenage magic trick
   Speeding at my heart

(I really like this definition of ensconce from dictionary.com: "to settle securely or snugly". It's how I think of myself settling down to read, and fits beautifully with what I was trying to do here. I love our language!)

My Errors & Briggs: IIST

Several times a year, someone brings up what always sounds to me like The Mystery Particle that could pull together all the missing links in physics, but instead is more akin (as far as I can tell) to voodoo: Myers-Briggs.

If you are one of the twenty one [1] people on the planet who has not been subjected to this test, it purports to divine all the details of your personality, so that:

1. You understand yourself;
2. Others understand you;
3. You understand how to interact with others subjected to MB;
4. Your boss can better manage you.

Hang on to that last one; we'll come back to it.

The test consists of a series of questions designed to test your sanity. They range from false dichotomies

7. Which is more important? [ ] Justice [ ] Grace

to the incomprehensible:

31. Which of these does not belong? [ ] a rainbow  [ ] a Big Mac

The results are four letters, such as INTF, ESFJ, or SQZX. When asked, I explain I'm an IIST[3]. The MB types look at me oddly and ask, "A what?"

"An IIST. I Ignore Stupid Tests."

At this point, they usually change the subject.

I'm OK with that. Thankfully, the only time I was forced to take the official MB[2] test, I never heard the results/ I say "thankfully" because when you get the results, you apparently get brainwashed. Every person I have met who has taken one of these tests is obsessed with knowing the "Myers-Briggs" type of everyone around them. Frankly, I'm surprised the MB people don't just run a massive online site and feed the results into e-Harmony. Within a very few weeks, the world (apart from twenty two of us) would all be so busy dating and getting married there would be no time for terrorism, taxes, trauma, and other terrible "T" words.

Only one other time did I made it all the way through any test like this. The result was a graph in four boxes of color (red, yellow, green, blue. My employer at the time mandated all employees take this test. Everyone else got a clear cut classification. Jezebel (Not Her Real Name) called me into her office where she sat staring at my results and making strange noises for a couple of minutes. Finally she said it was an impossible result; one box should have a dominant peak but all the boxes showed a dominant peak. The experts agreed it was impossible, and were sequestered with their software team double checking their algorithms and code. She sent me away with no new insight into how to deal with me.

I was OK with that.

[1] Which happens to be the number of followers this blog currently has. [ ] Coincidence or [ ] Conspiracy?
[2] I tend to get the order of these letters confused in my mind, at least when thinking about this test.
[3] Sometimes I'm nicer and use "IITT"; "I Ignore These tests".

Persevering under the crushing yoke of Mileshood

To all concerned:

Yes, I am still persevering under the crushing yoke of Mileshood.[1] Each day I have to hang out with people I love, eat at all sorts of incredible non-chain restaurants, revel in creativity, hang out with people who love me, hug and be hugged, make music, think weird thoughts, write, laugh & cry with people, look at beauty all around me, and so on.

Despite all of this, I love my life.

Denise Canny asks, "Man... what have you done to deserve such a woeful existence?"

Over the last few years I decided to:

• love unreservedly;
• live unoffended;
• be me and enjoy it;
• do things i like and am good at;
• hug a lot.

Y'all beware, if you do these things, you could end up like me.

[1] Thanks, Randy Kirchhof, for that delicious expression.